What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

sky silverstein

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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