Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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He--Hey guys

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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why are balck people black because they are

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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