Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

an american walks out of a strip club.

You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

Jebron Lames.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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