What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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