What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

What's stupid a light bulb.

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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