- Anti Joke

Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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