How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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Na na na na na Neo! Na na na na na na 'Sporin!

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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