A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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