What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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