What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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25

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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