- Anti Joke

What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

._____________________. Whale!

What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

Why did the Chicken cross the road? "The Sky is that same reddish gray" Lance the chicken Thought to himself as he looked out into the busy intersection of Franklin and 4th....The city was more bustling that day then it had previously been the week before..."Maybe its because its friday..another weekend of family fun i guess" Lance said to himself...but then he remembered it was only tuesday..the days have all meshed together like some kind of various meats thrown together last second in an omelet...As lance looked into the stream of cars he wondered if somewhere..in some alternate dimension or some far away planet..that he could be riding in one of those cars..filled with his wife..his kids and all the happiness that you could fit into a tiny 4 door... But in between the dazzling stream of colours he could see a figure..staring right back at him..the figure was of another chicken..But a gruesome sorrowing excuse for a chicken..But something about that estranged being brought him somewhere////brought him to a place he never wanted to think about..he looked into the sky hoping to break eye contact..but instead was thrown into a turmoil of hate, regret and sorrow.. He looked down at his wedding ring..now only a piece of gold and silver..meaningless. "How Could I have done that to the one I loved the most...I made a promise to protect her"....he still remembers her last words to him..the breath she whispered to him moments before she past.."We live as slaves, to love what god takes away"...the one thing Lance Remembers most about that day was the obtuse shade of the sky..That Reddish Gray..It was almost as if the sky was red with his anger at the world...They Had just started their life together...not even 2 hours after she had been so violently ripped from his heart..he began returning to the drugs, sex and abuse that she saved him from...or tried to save him from..looking back at it//he tried filling that hole in his heart with whatever he could find..until his search lead him to that intersection..the intersection of Franklin and 4th...the day was growing old.... and his shadow growing long..soon the traffic began to to dwindle and he finally saw the figure..He finally saw what he had become..in the reflection of an adjacent building..he finally saw what society has made him...a monster...he never thought it would've came to this..everyone has plans for their lives..until they get hit. what is life without a purpose? what is purpose without love? Tormented by the monsters and demons of his past...he took one last look into the sky...closed his eyes.. and blindly walked into the now busy intersection..hoping to find peace...on the Other Side.....

Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

Fuzzy-wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-wuzzy died of cancer.

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

whatdumb and gay stewart price

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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