Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops