Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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A man walks into a woman's bedroom... But I was already bored of the plot so I skipped to the end of the pornographic video.

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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Womens rights

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what do you call a black guy african american

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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i love to lick...

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops