whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

I'm tired.

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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