Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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* two sisters are making yo mama jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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