i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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