Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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HELLO EVERYONE

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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okay so theres this guy.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops