A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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