What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Burp

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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