Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops