Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Potassium? K.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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