Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

guess what? bannanas

What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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