Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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