You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

Hey how is your wife and my kids

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

What's a good joke? Not this one.

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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