Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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69

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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