Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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