two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops