What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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PENIS that is all

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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