Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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Once upon a time a was born

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whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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