When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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time to spruce up!

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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