Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops