whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

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Gustavo Andrade

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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