Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops