If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Im adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Invisible Children Foundation.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn’t have any arms. like your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -17

0 1 this is a sad sad world.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops