What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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