Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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A man penetrates another man.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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