- Anti Joke

What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

Teddy- Last Thursday, A nice man named teddy was laid off at his local police department. Teddy was depressed, and mad at himself for his own failure. Teddy went to the library and found a book on Suicide. The librarian asked if he had his library card. He said yes, and presented it. The librarian scanned the card and checked out his book. Teddy went to his home and read a few chapters in his book, he found it useful. He then traveled to a firearms store and purchased a handgun. The clerk said that there was a sale on 40 count packages of the bullets he was buying. He said no thank you; I will only need one bullet. Teddy paid and went on his way home to find some peace. He did not find it………………… Because there was an annoying mocking bird outside his window. Teddy knew of this, and used his new weapon to shoot the bird. He only needed the one bullet because he was an ex-police officer, and had good aim. Teddy then used his new found knowledge on the topic of suicide, and wrote a remarkably well written article for a magazine he had interviewed for. Teddy knew that the prompt (suicide in the United States today) was very challenging, and he was compelled to hear how well he had done. The article landed him a new job as a writer for the magazine. On Friday, Teddy started his new job, and was delighted to learn that his new office was complete with a window that over looked the whole town. What a view, he remarked. He then threw himself out the eight story window, and landed on a homeless blind man. The homeless blind man had a coat full of newspapers to keep him warm in the winter time. And the padding suppressed the lethality of Teddy’s fall. He remarked how ironic it was that the homeless person‘s warm coat would never keep him warm again. Teddy laughed, and continued on with his fulfilling day until the police arrested him at 5:13 in the afternoon. He was a dashingly handsome toaster that supplied the town with lots of warm bread. So the police released him. And teddy and the Hooker lived happily ever after. Saturday, Teddy’s relationship with the hooker began falling apart. He was drinking now, and every now and then he came home a little too drunk. He beat and raped her………….. And nine months later they had a beautiful baby boy named Sam. They nurtured Sam till the ripe old age of 16. (Unfortunately, nurture for Teddy meant more rape and beating) For Sam’s 16th birthday, he was lead to the basement for a surprise party, where he was tripped into a wood chipper and ground into a fine pulp. Teddy added a blend of chili powder and sour cream. The hooker suggested that he should add some pickled jalapeño juice, but Teddy argued that it would be too spicy and ruin the chili. But the banana commented that he could add extra sour cream if the spice was to over whelming. Teddy trusted bananas, and added the pickled jalapeño juice. He then entered the chili in the local chili bowl competition and won second place. He was once again disappointed in his work, and went on a rampage killing all the bananas that ever betrayed him. Despite his good looks and practical use, Teddy had to face the continuances of his actions. He was discharged from his position at the local police department. Sunday, Damn, thought Teddy, the library’s closed on Sunday. The End

so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

batman farted so hes retarded

Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

12 niqqa 12.

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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