2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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Your mums a potato

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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