My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

I have cancer. And you're next.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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