A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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Im taking a shit right now.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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God is real.

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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