Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops