Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

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A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

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What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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What didn't the artist buy at Best Buy? A Ziploc Bag full of AIDs infested zebra pubes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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