whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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knock knock

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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One time i was sitting down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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