Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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I was watching Fox news.

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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