A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

what's worse than 24? 6 million.

I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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