autsim

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Blacks

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops