Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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tim has no humor

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Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

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Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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