a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Bitch

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Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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haha

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

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who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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