Tim likes girls

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q- Why? A- Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mother has cupcakes, she offers you one, how many does she have left? The same amount she had before, you are full. Moral: Cupcakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

thumb_up thumb_down -21

This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops