A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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