What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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meatspin.fr

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops