what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

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Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because if you subtract 6 from 7 only one would survive.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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