The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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dead dibbs

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were you expecting a joke

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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