Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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8

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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fridge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops