Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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This is not a joke.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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