What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Where's my tractor?

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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Christanity One Womans Excuse of Not Having an Affair Got Totaly Out of Hand

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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knock knock who's there ?

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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Ily bae

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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