Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

thumb_up thumb_down -19

SEX

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When life throws you lemons, you probably have dyslexia

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops