Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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