What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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