Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

guess what what ...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Jovan

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

are you saying pam, or pan?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops